Around 1:30pm EST, I surpassed the 50,000 visitor mark. I think this means the Shower Room is here to stay. I do know that I get off writing for a wide audience. But often times, I question whether I take something worthwhile & constructive by maintaining this site. So, to my readers - I thank you for sticking by me after all these months. I get off knowing you get off... or so to speak.
50K Referrer Special Recognition goes to this beefcake's site: Andymatic.
Initially, I thought I'd be writing about more controversial eye-raising issues here at the Shower Room, but this hasn't been the case. Ever since I've gotten word of friends finding my site, I've taken things down a notch. Having said that, 5 months of blogging generally focussed on this groove of talking about MEN, dating and living the single life.
In agreement with Billy's eloquent post, now would be the time to express that there certainly is more to me than what is documented here. I've merely stayed away from discussing personal relationships. Recently, I received three emails (all from non-bloggers). No particular reason, they felt compelled to write. I'm very grateful for their feedback.
For the new visitors, get wet with me.
Allow me to re-introduce myself, I'm a Saggitarrian. I'm 26 years old. My favourite colour is red. ENFP. And... I love to get wet. Swoosh.
At a club last weekend, out of the crowd, there was one guy that caught my eye *Handsome Blonde* (HB for short). I kept bumping into him, on the dancefloor, by the men's room, up the stairs etc... It was hard not to start conversation.
Throughout the evening, our small talks kept getting interrupted by friends. He seems to know half of the people in attendance, while I knew the other half.
Enter a tornado in the form of GoGo Dancer.
I met GoGo Dancer earlier that evening. I was very reserved in his company. In the short time we spoke, he managed to plant a quick kiss on my cheek. Talk about a big flirt! Upon meeting him again, he grabs my hands to have me feel his ripped torso. "Uhhh... very nice."
He responds by not only squeezing my ass, but also eventually turning around to face me and grab my crotch. He was a bit too aggressive. I spurned his advances. I'd have a different reaction if my motive was to get laid that night. Goodlooking, but he turned me off.
On the phone the next day with Watercolourboy: "GoGo Dancer? Oh wow. Yeah... he's goodlooking and he's got a hot body.... and he knows it!"
...back to GoGo Dancer at the club, he moves on to grind with HB who was a few steps next to me. I'm surrounded by friends, but I can see HB giving me a look that screamed "Help!" I was puzzled as being approached by a very attractive guy screaming "free lunch" doesn't seem to faze him.
So I reached for his hand and HB grabs mine. And then, I pull him away. It was a nice moment, but short-lived.
I was distracted when I got pulled for a quick introduction. Later on, my friend warns me that GoGo Dancer is in "my territory". I look towards HB to see him whispering to GoGo Dancer. I give a very confident reply, "Nah. HB will come back to me."
But he doesn't come back.
The next time I look back, HB is gone. GoGo Dancer is missing too. I put two and two together and quicky come to the conclusion that they went to a secluded part of the club. I was disappointed.
I look at my watch and I realized that I've had my fun. I'm going home.
"You're not going to wait up for HB?" asks a friend.
"No, he's not worth it."
I'm not going to flash my sex card just to get a guy's attention. I have alot more class than that. But a part of me felt I should have.
*****
Walking home, panic came to mind. Oh my god! I think I finally lost my MOJO.
Your what? Yes, my MOJO... ala Austin Powers.
Oh. Gotcha.
This MOJO I speak of is an intangible magical essence I possess that charm people to me. Over the course of the summer, I seem to meet guys without much effort. It was intoxicating feeling like the coolest person on the planet.
Thank you O Lord for bestowing this gift upon me...
Call me superstitious, but I know it's temporary. In turn, I've been anticipating losing it. I didn't think I'd lose my MOJO this soon. My summer still has a month left. Aw.
The next night, I went out to another club. Big sigh of relief. I still have my MOJO afterall.
*****
Earlier this week, I ran into HB on the street. What a coincidence, huh? So we talk briefly. He opens his wallet taking out a small piece of paper. He wrote his phone number at the back of the club card we were at. He says he was waiting for the opportunity to give it to me.
"I was looking for you. You left without saying goodbye." says HB.
"No, you left without saying goodbye." I say.
HB is even more handsome in daylight. I give him a quick pat in the back, and head away.
Thanks to Corin and Chris for this interesting 20 question quiz.
It pointed out a few self-faults I'm already aware of, but it's still satisfying to have it solidified in writing. I don't necessarily agree with it 100%. I know I'm great sex, but I'm more likely to talk things through before I consider cheating on my partner. And yes, I love attention.
Anyways, do the quiz. It might be worthwhile. Then, share your results with me. Here's mine:
You are a XSYG--Expressive Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Sex Bomb.
You are sexy sex sex sex! The sexness! You are the sexiest, hottest and most charismatic of all types. You are a captivating speaker and a great dinner date -- relaxed, self-effacing, charming and generous. Your type probably has origins in something sad -- trying to keep the peace in a tough family situation, or an early heartbreak -- and you'll probably want to address and resolve that at some point, but in your relationships that heartache is pure gold!
You lie effortlessly -- not necessarily a bad thing. You can have problems with fidelity. You need frequent praise and validation, and in seeking it you can make decisions that aren't consistent with your general good judgment. In other words, don't cheat on your significant other just because someone is paying attention to you.
You strongly dislike conflict, and will avoid it. Like an XPYG, you give so much of yourself to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don't get the same in return. But you internalize your feelings more and have a hard time getting over them. You don't *want* to cheat -- you just keep finding yourself in vulnerable situations. But you'll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please.
Your sex life will always be hot. You are one of the rare people who can keep the fires of passion going forever -- if you find a good match. Find another XSYG and you will never need (or want) anyone else again.
Of the 2246 people who have taken this quiz, 11.7 % are this type.
Today is my older sister's 30th birthday. She wants to do something special, so we're going to Niagara Falls together for the entire weekend.
Since she loves flowers, I got her a bunch to greet her morning. This is what I wrote on her birthday card:
A big 30 to you!
...and yet you barely look 20?
You're married.
You have a loving husband.
You own a house.
You have two beautiful kids:
- a complete set of 1 boy & 1 girl
And you did all this before turning 30!
You have what most women (and some men) could only dream of!
Through blogging, I gained something very valuable, a special gift in the form of Watercolourboy. I recall introducing him to my hot friend Scuba with such proud eyes. I also can't forget the time we went clubbing together. I exuded this uncompromising confidence derived from knowing that WCB will back me up in whatever.
All in all, I'm so priviledged to have him as my confidante because I look up to him. Also, I've never met anyone who has sex as often as he does. Don't let that innocent waterfall picture plastered on his blog fool you. This guy is a BIG perv, and his sexual posts are always juicy. (***** To WCB: I say all this with love, babe. With love... it's funny how our friendship started off anonymously. Well, not exactly. Click here and here*****)
There is merit to my praise. Watercolourboy has become someone I automatically turn to as he possesses a menagerie of welcomed information about "city folks". Also, Watercolourboy gives good advice. This past weekend, there were two incidences where without him, I don't think I would be as calm and collected as I am right now.
Everytime I phone him, my first few words are along the lines of "Babe, did I catch you at a bad time?" He could be getting laid, ya never know...
As of late, Watercolourboy's posts have been on the mushy heartfelt side, very uncharacteristic of him. When faced with the unexpected (like an operation), I suppose everyone including WCB is susceptible to feeling vulnerable. He might be a big boy, but I still feel some concern.
So to you, WCB, I'm merely reiterating the obvious: You're loved by so many bloggers. And babe, I love you too. I mean it.
Who knew that being honest and direct with people actually works? Well, providing you handle your words with great tact that is...
*****
Last weekend, I finally told the King it wasn't working out between us. I wanted to be honourable so I told him it's best we talk in-person. I haven't called him in two days and he's not stupid, so he quickly figured out why.
He seemed bothered over the phone that I wasn't able to express that there is nothing lacking in him. I proposed friendship. Suffice to say, he wasn't taking it very well. "I guess I'll talk to you later. Bye." End of conversation.
Two minutes later, the phone rings. Guess who?
"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm just not having a good day." I was relieved. Apology accepted.
Shortly after, the King invites me to his place to watch two movies he rented. "Ummm..." I was quite hesitant. My watch says 10:30pm. I'm tired. I want a quiet introverted Friday night indulging in mango sorbet, television and eventually a 10 hour beauty sleep. But I got dressed out of my pajamas, took a cab, and was at his place in record-breaking fifteen minutes.
I wanted to show that I'm serious about wanting to be friends. I fell asleep halfway through Underworld, but that's besides the point. We've sinced talked on the phone several times. Chatted on MSN, and we have plans to hang out as "friends". Cool!
Honesty Score Tally: 1
*****
I'm looking forward to seeing CC again during the Labour Day weekend. We've been chatting on the phone and exchanging emails frequently. But what was to be an exclusive romantic weekend between us was quickly turning into a tourist pajama party between him and his friends.
At first, I understood CC's need to have company during his long drive up north. I even encouraged him. But when the carpool becomes a crowd - the entire group planning excursion trips to see Hairspray and the Island and having me tag along... well... I became apprehensive. At one point, he admits he doesn't want to abandon his friends altogether. That's fine, but it's clear that his focus wasn't on me anymore.
I don't want to damper CC's mood. But if I was going to invest my entire weekend with him, I don't want to feel second priority because I'm not going to be fair to myself. In turn, I sent CC an email reiterating my internal thoughts: "...I have to express my trepidation in having your friends along for the ride. Assurance of privacy or not, it still changes the scheme of things..."
I concluded my email by saying that I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for his visit alongside with his friends: "The bottom line is I want you to be happy. And, I want you to have the time of your life."
We had a lengthy chat that evening. As it turns out, the big crowd cancelled and he's down to one other friend for accompaniment. I've prepared myself for the worst, so the news doesn't change much. But in conversation, he says: "My only reason for coming up there is to see you. I've missed you so much." Aw, isn't that sweet?
Sometimes I forget the magnitude and the growing popularity of this blog. If you ever come across me online or recognize me in person, say hello. I'm friendly and personable. I love talking to people. I mean... that's what I do for a living!
But please don't send me cryptic online messages like: "hi showerroom boy, we've met and my boyfriend thinks you're soooo hot" or approach me in a bar and then walk away after saying: "my friend has been reading up on you and thinks you're really cool". Let's not play any mindgames. Whoever you are, your intentions might be good, but it only adds paranoia and a bit of fear into my everyday collective consciousness. Afterall, I'm a real person too.
Be fair. So either say hello and be prepared to have a meaningful conversation, or leave me alone letting my ignorance be my sweet bliss.
The Trouble with Getting Involved with Guys Who Already Have Boyfriends
Last sunday during the Church Street Fetish Fair, I felt a gentle carress on my right arm. By the time a friend pointed out the person who touched me among the crowd, the guy was already far away walking with his back turned. I felt a sudden bittersweet tug from inside.
The following is a short email I sent him yesterday. I stopped all communication with him in the past four months. Nonetheless, I often reminisce of our good times together and also wonder how he is faring in life:
thanks for brushing my hand and thanks for saying hello on sunday.
it was a pleasant surprise.
it drew the biggest grin across my face.
i wanted to run after you even for a little unsuspicious hug,
i just didn't want to put you on the spot and alarm your boyfriend.
but it was nice watching you walk away hand in hand with him.
it gave me goosebumps.
actually, thinking about it still does.
i know that i've been silent,
but i wanted to reiterate that no matter what i've said or what you've said,
i still care for you very deeply.
i think you know this, but i hope it doesn't get lost.
anyways, i guess that's all i can really say.
ps. i took note of the hot blonde surfer look you're sporting ;)
Sunday marked the first annual Church Street Fetish Fair. There wasn't much happening on the streets, other than a live DJ, some street vendors, and on-stage caning & flogging demonstrations. Nonetheless, I had a pretty special time because of the good company I was with, people I have gotten to know from last week's patio party.
There was one thing missing: Cute Guys.
It wasn't until early Sunday evening that I finally meet two friendly, personable and good-hearted Americans at a bar. I was drawn to Muscle T (he was wearing a black sleeveless muscle T), but not his companion Young Lawyer. You know when someone looks at you genuinely straight in the eye upon meeting? Yup, Muscle T was doing one of those.
It was difficult to engage in one-on-one conversation from across the table with Muscle T because I was accompanied with four of my friends. The 2 to 5 seconds of frequent eye-to-eye meetings was nice though. It's like I was mentally telling him: "Yeah, I want you too."
I tried to separate Muscle T from the rest of my gang, but it seems I always end up with Young Lawyer, who seems to like me too. A bit later on, frustrated that I can't talk to Muscle T alone, I eventually invite the two Americans for a quick walk. Wink wink nudge nudge. They're game. But then, my two other friends also follow leaving the others behind.
Nearing 10pm, there were still a good number of people dancing on the street, music courtesy of a local DJ. It was then that I finally had some personal exchanges with Muscle T. He relayed a question here, a compliment there.
Whispering, Muscle T says: "Those military pants fit you so well." I blush ofcourse. So, I flirt back, "Wait 'til you see what's underneath." I expected a devilish reply, but instead I get a quiet dignified answer. "I'm only interested on what's inside."Muscle T points to his heart.
Oh, I nearly melt.
We had some great conversation as a group back at the bar so I know I left a very good impression, otherwise Muscle T would have declined my invitation for a "walk". Anyways, I wanted to propose to the guy right on the spot. Instead, I opted for the next best thing. Lady-like or not, I'm going to take him home even if I have to invite Young Lawyer to my place for a play session just so he doesn't feel left behind. So much for my virgin status which is now 3 weeks and counting.
Time is of the essence so I was blunt with an invite to my place. I quicky find out that the two Americans are ONLY friends. Phew! I was so relieved. This is a good thing except there are complications which I won't get into. Muscle T being a good friend, says he can't leave Young Lawyer alone in a foreign city scrapping for himself. However, he does ask if he could walk me home. I decline because like him, I felt it was inappropriate to dump my other two friends on short notice. It would not only be rude, but also disrespectful choosing a guy who I probably won't see again over the new friends I am recenty getting to know.
As it was getting late, I eventually bid goodbye to Muscle T. He gives me a very tight hug. Right before we separate, he kisses me on my cheek, just missing my lips by one finger. I carress the back of his left ear realizing my two friends are watching off to the side. Young Lawyer was watching too.
I hope I'm making sense to someone out there but I'm actually glad Muscle T didn't come home with me. I'm very relieved I didn't ditch my two friends. Sexual depravity and loneliness can make a person do things he doesn't really want to do. Muscle T promises to keep in touch. I have absolutely no doubt he'll appear in my books at another future chapter. My prediction? Before the end of September rolls around, I have a feeling he will be coming up north and we will connect... the story continues... remind me in 2 months.
I'm really enjoying the Hot Olympians site, updated daily. Here I was thinking that I should nominate the entire South African Swim Relay team. It's a welcome surprise to see this swim team emerge out of nowhere and set a world-record.
When the team won gold, one of the guys did a bicep flexing routine that I found very cocky. A turn off... but strangely, I was also so turned on with this masculine display. Yum. Yum. Who's yo daddy?
Let's talk about 19-year old American Michael Phelps. Personally, I don't think he's handsome. Prior to Saturday night, I really didn't understand all this hoopla about him. Yes, great body, great athlete. I'm sure he's a tiger in bed too. It wasn't until I saw him on an interview in-retrospect aiming for 8 gold medals that I realize he is full of charisma. He has a very nice presence on the television screen. I'm definitely keeping track of his Olympic progress.
Having said that, I think Austrailian Ian Thorpe is a dreamboat. Sigh. Don't you agree? The black full body wet suit he wears is the sexiest gear on the planet. I'm really looking forward to the Phelps VS Thorpe showdown this week. Who will be victorious? Perhaps one of those cocky yet yummy South Africans will steal the thunder away from these two hunks?
*****
I don't normally write commentary on such matters. But until I sort internal thoughts about my weekend, expect more pictures and silliness. By the way, my weekend was wonderful. How was yours?
I'm in a candy store and I want to try every flavour to assess the best one. I know there's a particular sweet taste that will satisfy me. He's out there, and I'm longing for him. But in the meantime, I've tried all this candy and they're only ending up half unconsumed in the garbage.
*****
Tuesday night, I had another date with the King which turned out great. I found myself liking him even more. We dined at a very nice Thai restaurant. Afterwards, we retreated back to his place.
My intention was to let my feelings out in the open, and if need be, cut ties severing contact. If friendship is possible, then the better. I was thinking of chickening out. But when it finally came down to an unending makeout session which I wasn't entirely comfortable with, I had to give the 'honest' route a try.
So I did. Immediately, he couldn't understand my logic of wanting to take it slow. I tell him I need time to sort out my feelings. "Is this a 2 or 3 months down the line type of slow?" He asks as he didn't seem happy.
To appease him, I reiterate that I do like him alot and that I think he's a special guy. Since I was on that thread, I started listing the many things I liked about him. It pleased him so much I kept going with quite a long list, some superficial, some intangible. It could only have been music to his ears.
Reclining, he says he wanted to feel my skin. Innocently, he takes off my dress shirt. Shortly after, he starts tickling me. I giggle. There was groping, which turned into unzipping and The King is down giving me head. I knew this was coming a mile away. And honestly, I wanted him to... I was both curious and horny.
I give a little pathetic protest that it's not what I want. "I'm just teasing you... just let me tease," he says. In my virgin Mary voice, I tried to be firm: "I really want to take things slow."The King stops, but eventually goes back down on me again. "If you don't like it, just stop me, okay?" What a rhetorical question, huh?
How could I not like it? So, for a bit, I did let him... you know... and then shortly pulled him up. He ceased. We had a lengthy talk. Somehow, unexplainable, we both ended our night in pleasant bliss. I walked home still horny, but with a smile nonetheless.
*****
A day has passed and I have had a chance to reassess my feelings for The King. I am 95% sure that I don't want to go any further. I would just be leading him on. There's no fireworks inside me. He's such a wonderful guy, and everything about him is top notch. Who knows? Maybe I won't get another guy of his caliber again. But it just wasn't working for me. I don't understand why, and I'm going to stop analyzing.
What's so funny about this whole thing is I can't even visualize myself having consolation sex with him. I hope we can be friends.
*****
There's this super friendly loud and proud flamer who's been chatting me up everytime we cross paths at my gym. He asked if I wanted to "hang out" with him sometime. I wasn't sure if he was asking me out on a date, but then he was suddenly concerned whether or not I had a boyfriend.
He seems like a genuine guy. Totally not my type, but I reply "sure". I mean why not? He could be that sweet caramel taffy that melts perfectly in my tongue, not my hands.
*****
My next-door neighbour has a crush on me. I'm not referring to the Sexy Latino who used to live South of my door, I'm talking about this other neighbour north of me who's a fair bit older. When he's nearby, I get this child-molester vibe. Hence, I stay away.
I ran into him waiting for the elevator and he mentioned that he's seen me around the village. I did the unpolite thing people do to avoid conversation: leave no room for eye contact by pretending to be fascinated by my watch and then stare at the light-lit floor map up above the elevator door.
If he was a candy in the candy store, he'd be... well, I don't want to write anything of poor taste. Then again, the only purpose of mentioning my neighbour is to give myself an ego boost.
*****
On an up note, Christopher Columbus or (C.C. for short) is coming into town solely to spend the entire Labour Day weekend with me. C.C. who? Click here.
I'm very much looking forward to reconnecting with him again. We had great sexual and emotional chemistry. I think he wants to recreate our pride adventures. Right off the bat, I can tell that I won't feel like a robot in his presence, that nothing is going to feel forced.
At the candy store, C.C. would be a wild cherry lollilop. I wish he can satisfy my insatiable desire of realness, but his taste will wear off as soon as he leaves town.
It's 'Sudsy Max' for short. I can tell I'm gonna have lots of fun with my Rubber Ducky. He he he. Strange, I feel like Ernie.
'Rubber Ducky, you're the one...'
I could only incorporate a handful, and I used the collective submissions from Bingo, Aaron, Allison & Homer. Thanks to all who sent in name suggestions. It's highly appreciated!
I had a date with The King on Friday night. That was our unofficial third date. His plans of cooking dinner for me didn't exactly materialized, but all in all we still had a pleasant time. Watched a movie. Talked. Made out on his couch.
Immediately, I didn't feel comfortable with kissing so I nonchalantly focussed more on the snuggling aspect with lite kissing. The King sensed something wasn't right, but I retracted that I want to take things slow. Kissing suddenly became too intimate that I wanted to back off and avoid it. And when the King asked me to spend the night, as much as I like spooning, I really wasn't into it to the point where I eventually got up out of his bed and left him alone at 1 in the morning. Needless to say, he was not pleased.
I'm very reserved in his company which is weird since I tend to be the aggressor. He has all the qualities I am looking for in a life partner. He's kind, smart, talented, thoughtful, handsome, and I know he will treat me like a king. Now that I've come across someone of high caliber as him, I'm not moved? What's MY problem?
"The heart should be stabbed only to see if blood flows from it."
I know love will come unexpectedly so I'm not chasing after it. But after meeting this guy who seems perfect for me, why is it that I feel nothing inside? It's not fair. I can't force the heart to feel; it has its own mind. But why am I not blown away by The King's romantic inclinations when under normal circumstances, I know that I would fall head over heels.
I'm trying to give The King a fair chance - to really get to know him. But also, I'm sorting out these feelings of numbness that do not make sense. Am I just gonna end up hurting him or even myself in the process?
I have another date with him tonight. If things do NOT work out, I will not prolong it any further. I promise to be honest with him. I'm hoping for the best. I don't want to give him that awful speech that we all have heard:
"It's not you, it's me!"
*****
It's been two weeks since I got laid. Boohoo, I know! I'm trying to save my virginity for someone special. But it's really hard.....ummm....yeah... HARD! LOL.
For the past week, I have been unfocussed at work. My sexual drive is making me absolutely insane. Fantasizing about Kevin helped... that is until he mentioned that he doesn't bottom. Sigh. I can still dream.
My MOJO is still on...am still meeting new people at every turn.
If last weekend I met lots of potential bed buddies, then this weekend I met lots of potential good friends. Let me tell you, it's alot more satisfying.
It was almost as if I had a huge sign on my forehead that read "desperate for friends". A good number of people have welcomed me with open arms into their nicely-knit circle of friends. It was overwhelming and I felt really special in their company. I've been invited to barbeques, movie-night outings, more dinner parties among other things. The next step for me now is to take it to the next level and start returning phonecalls once and for all.
*****
Sunday, I went to a patio party populated with good genuine people. I also re-established some good acquaintances. There was a resident photographer present in the event who took picture after picture of every little occurence. Really cool fun-loving guy, I briefly introduced myself and he gave me his business card.
This morning, I was curious so I checked out his website. Cool pics. Then, I clicked on the "updated" part of the Events section. If I knew I would find four pictures of yours truly being immortalized on the web, I really would not have posed with a friend in some sort of tongue-kiss play. Urgh! I can't help but wonder what people might think of me. Slut? Whore? Player? I mean... it was an innocent tongue flirt that turned into something risque for the camera. Oh well.
I find myself feeling strangely hexed.
*****
The topic of myself as a Go-go dancer was once again brought up by a local DJ friend of mine. "We've been getting lots of complaints that our Go-go dancers can't dance. You - you'd look good up there."
I've shyly declined the offer before. This time, I reply: "I'm not Go-go material. I'm too short." I reiterate that I'm not comfortable wearing those skimpy rainbow coloured underwear that they ask the dancers to wear.
In consolation, I find myself promising to be a backup dancer for a drag queen at some future event. Is this worse? Hmmmm... I'm crossing my fingers that I get to keep my shirt on, but not very likely.
As you've probably seen in the new pics, I've got myself a new playtoy in the Shower Room. I'm taking the Mascot cue from Mak and Camille (the Cow).
So... I need your help. Give my RubberDucky a STRIKING name.
In pondering a name for my M-A-S-C-O-T, here's a site for inspiration. Also, this is how Merriam-Webster defines it:
Pronunciation: 'mas-"kät also -k&t
Function: noun
Etymology: French mascotte, from masco witch, Medieval Latin masca
Definition: a person, animal, or object adopted by a group as a symbolic figure especially to bring them good luck.
Here's hoping my yet-to-be named RubberDucky will bring me lots of luck. Cheers!
For the first installment of the Fetish Files, I'm starting off with something every boy and girl can relate with...Kissing.
Kissing is an underappreciated unfocused fetish. Sex, no matter how good, no matter how mind blowing, will (arguably) always be secondary to kissing. In other words, kissing gets top billing.
There's nothing I like better than waking up to a special guy on some late Saturday morning, cuddling, and yes... kissing. My favourite pastime...and I know I'm damn good kisser!
*****
Kissing 102
This is NOT a how-to Kiss guide. I'm writing on the principle that we all have different kissing styles and approaches, likes and dislikes. But I'm also assuming everyone agrees with me when I say that the best kiss is one involving genuine affection. Having said that, this is more like Step #2. We know how to kiss, so how can we make it better?
Below is a list I've compiled - suggestions, options, things that can heighten the kissing activity -turning an ordinary good kiss into a memorable one.
Much of it is based on my own experiences, so it's all one sided. That's why I need the help of you, yes YOU, boys and girls. Teach me something new and different about K-I-S-S-I-N-G. I am hoping this will turn out to be a growing and constantly updating long list. (*N.B. No matter how small and insignificant, send me your cues preferably via email so I can add further to the post... Mmmmmkay?) Hence, the list:
#1) Extensive Eye Contact. Yes, eye contact. Don't dismiss it. It's NOT necessarily present when sucking face with a partner.
To an extent, kissing is like having great conversation. The best ones are intimate. Don't shy away from your partner's eyes. Eye contact is intimacy. And boys, we all know that sex without emotions is not the same as sex with love. Kissing is the same way.
Direct eye-to-eye can be intimidating at times. But with a guy you have great sexual rapport with, the eyes confirm if there is a deep-rooted emotional connection of sorts. I tend to look at my partner's eyes for a few seconds before locking lips. Afterwards, again the staring ensues with the eyes communicating with confidence: "So there...that kiss was hot. Wasn't I good for you too?" Then, I give a smile.
#2 Flavoured Lip Balm. As recently as last thursday, I got rave reviews from Clark Kent. He said I tasted very sweet and he could not stop kissing me. He eventually had to ask what the sweet taste was all about.
Ladies, this is what I use. They taste so yummy that I can eat them for dessert. No need to buy those $10-$20 dollar super expensive lipshit. These Fruit Smoothies does the trick as it comes in three different flavours: Melon Melody, Triple Tropical, & ofcourse Berry Explosion (the one I was using when I was kissing Clark Kent).
#3 Tongue for Variation. Kissing shouldn't be monotonous. It's NOT all about touching lips. Variations of soft and hard kisses is ideal, as like wiggling one's tongue in and around your partner's mouth in tickle fashion.
Why the variation? It's like fucking a hot hole for a long time. Eventually you'll lose the feeling in your dick so you have to stop and touch your cock with your hand to see if it's still attached. Oooopppps. Sorry guys, I didn't realize I would break my rule and be crass. But I don't know how else to make that point across without being graphic. Anyways...
#4 Biting. Me? I bite. Literally! But in a playful fashion. I can't begin to tell you the overwhelming response from so many guys when I do a bit of light-biting of the upper lip, if not the lower ear lobe. It's unexpected, and if done right, very pleasant. There's something animalistic about it.
#5 Mints VS Chewing Gum. Most of you probably like a minty taste in your mouth; through brushing, through mint candies, to each his own. Tictacs do not last. But it's the initial blow that is key anyways. And then, there are those super strong chewing gum in the market these days. I don't really have a preference. But I know some people are turned off with guys swapping not only spit, but also gum. I've tried this by accident as I obtained gum from the other party's mouth. It was pretty hot, actually. His gum tasted good. He he he.
#6 Hands. So where should the hands be when kissing? I don't think they should neccessarily be everywhere. I look for clues. When I am the aggressor (which is most of the time), I tend to grab a guy by the back of his neck forcefully towards myself. If not, I tend to gently rub my fingers on my partner's ears. Personally, I prefer light carressing touches around the small of my back when smootching. But since I also have a hand fetish, I like my hands being held and clasped tightly.
#7 The Forehead and the Nose. It's a minor touch, but when I look back, I love it when a guy kisses me on the forehead. It's indicative of a caring kiss. The nose? Ditto.
Updated August 3/04 #8 The Lift. Not everyone is capable of 'the lift', especially if the other party is much heavier. I recently reconnected with a special guy. Holding him by the buttocks, I slowly lifted him above the ground kissing him passionately. I felt invincible. The idea of carrying a guy displaying my strength to him is pretty hot and very masculine. It's like I was saying to the world: "This is my prized posession. And, I am so proud."
Updated August 3/04 #9 The Giggle. Yes, add a little bit of laughter. It wasn't until a few readers unanimously commented on this giggle idea that I realize how true this was for me as well. Those special kisses I've had in the past? All of them involved a tad of giggling, sometimes more. You break contact. Zero out for a smile while taking good time to catch your breath.
Randy from Dead or Alive in Ohio started this thread of breaking kiss and giggling. It definitely breaks down the tension - relaxing two people before and after an intimate exchange.
Jeffrey from Gatsby's Ghost comments: "An ideal sequence: kiss, laugh, kiss again. Repeat as often as necessary."
Updated August 6/04 #10 Inhaling I thought the comment on inhaling a partner's breath was very interesting. So I decided to give it a try. Apparently, according to Will at DesignerBlog, this method is 'incredibly erotic'.
I do agree. I found it very erotic. At first, it felt really weird sucking in another person's breath. I know I stunned my partner for a milisecond, but I did find inhaling his breath curiously appealing. It's like a part of him has entering my lungs. I'm not too sure though if the other party found it as erotic as I did. I think he was more concerned of morning breath as it was 5am. At the time, I didn't care. But also, I didn't get a whiff of any unpleasantness. I need more practice on this one.
Updated August 6/04 #10 The Fantasy. Role playing.
writing in progress...
Here's a few other ideas that can accentuate the kissing activity. I hope YOU can help me expand on these. Tell me your experiences with Kissing using:
* Various Body Parts & Objects. (eg. hair, beard, fingers,teeth, braces, etc...)
* Breathing.
* Different Angles. Neck Tilting. Positioning.
* Tongue Techniques. Tongue Play.
* Food.
* Playing with Ice.
* Mood Music.
* Opportunity/Circumstance/Danger factor.
* Kissing in Public. Kissing in front of an audience.
* Role-Playing.
* Kissing in the Shower. Kissing below water.
So yeah... the funniest thing happened. I'm still giggling about it. With everyone in my life, there are the two people I had feared most, hoping they will never run into the Shower Room. Ofcourse, as we all know, our greatest fears are bound to be realized. Hence, my two friends ran into my site last night, by accident. (Let's just say I blame other bloggers.)
I quickly thought of closing down the Shower Room following in the recent footsteps of Sissy and Soblo. That would make me the 3rd Torontonian blogger who called it quits in the last two months. Would he be next?
Nonetheless, I am actually grateful that my two friends have so much respect for me to inform me right away. I didn't overreact, replying in a nonchalant manner. But below my calm exterior, I was still terrified.
What do they think of me now? There are things in this Shower Room that I'm sure changed my two friends' perception of me. My quick defense was: "I have nothing to be ashamed of." My only hesitation is that there are things that I have not been open to talk to them about. Having said that, my two friends loved the pictures on this site.
To the new readers who recently found this site, this is my second attempt at blogging. The first blog had ugly repurcussions. When I opened up shop for the new Shower Room concept, I kept in mind that people I know will run into this somehow. Hence, this has led to censorship when speaking of the close personal relationships in my life.
To the friends and acquaintances who know me in the flesh, if you've been reading - please let me know. I'm not upset, but I can't really say that I don't care. I do wish to keep part of my privacy intact and respected. But do be honest, don't play shy or stupid. Let me know that you've been reading, whoever you are. Give me feedback.
I have been true to myself. I have been honest. I have been respectful.
I am a real person with good intentions. Much like you, I can be greedy. I can be selfish. I can be selfless. But, I want to be loved. I want to connect. I want others to identify. That is absolutely normal.
I've met so many people this past weekend, it was almost as if I was in Montreal for gay pride. Since their names are generic, here's a short list of the ones I do remember: Don, Kevin, Eric, Ryan, Joel, Stu, M., etc...
God, I can't stress just how S-E-X-Y I feel lately. And you know what? Alcohol has nothing to do with it. I have to put the blame squarely on this MOJO that I've been speaking of.
"Yeah baby, Yeah!"
The little bit of superstitiousness in me is saying that I will not have this MOJO for much longer. How long will I have it for? Who knows? I predict until the end of summer. In the meantime, I am having a lot of fun meeting new people. BEST summer ever.
*****
Friday night was a weird night. I literally had to physically fight off advances from 3 guys, consecutively but all separate incidences. It was one after the other that I felt as if I stepped into reality TV territory. Just weird, I think these three guys were all drunk (in variating degrees).
At least, there were alot of other good people around. Ran into a guy I met at my old gym three years ago. Caught up on stories. He has a new boyfriend. Traded numbers. He wants to show me his "new place". I'm invited to dinner at his place this upcoming Saturday night.
*****
Last Saturday night at another club, I finally made a move on Shy Blonde Dude. I've had a huge crush on this guy for months and I know he thinks I'm cute. We chatted on and off. In between, a friend gives me a warning. The red flag was raised quite high. Uh-oh! It's good to have friends who gossip and know about everyone! LOL. He asked for my number three times. I get this funny feeling that he won't call... you know since's he's a player and all...
Which leads me to the question: how does one get labelled as a "player"?
At the clubs, I flocked from one guy to one guy to one guy. It's like I'm in a candy store and I get to choose any flavour I want. Ofcourse, I'm going with the best one. Does that make me a player?
And this leads me to another question: how does a "player" differ from being a "slut"?
I might've met many guys, but I did NOT have sex this weekend. I've come to the point where if I have superfluous sex, I know I'll feel very detached and would find it routinely unenjoyable. This is not a new revelation for me, I've written about this in my past archives. For now, I need to stay back. If I were to go to the direction of sex, it'll have to be with someone special. And at present, I'm content with my hand accompanied with my imagination.
*****
Sunday night, I reconnected with someone special as hinted on yesterday's post. It just happened. And no, we did NOT have sex either. Despite a fair bit of groping, we both showed great restraint. We kissed for a good six or seven hours before falling asleep. Oh man, those are the best, aren't they? The emotions were raw. I didn't feel like a robot. It wasn't just another guy. I have a history with him. We have this emotional and physical connection that I just can't explain. It's like no other. We got out of bed around 1pm.
Having said that, we left it at: "I'll talk to you soon." He's busy. I'm busy. But I'm equipped not to get hurt the same way I did over a year and a half ago. I have a feeling I'll hear from him sometime this weekend. I shouldn't look forward to it, but I am.
*****
Speaking of this upcoming weekend, man do I feel popular! Everyone wants to invite me to dinner. I have dinner invitations for every night starting tonight with two good friends.
My friday is reserved for this new guy I've been dating. Yes, I'm dating someone new: *the KING*. He has a cute smile, smart, talented, successful, down-to-earth, thoughtful & kind. He's a true gentleman, coming from a very impressive background.
He seems too good to be true. He has all the qualities I'm looking for in a man. His actions show that he's absolutely crazy about me. I have to admit that I'm not sure what he sees in me since I haven't tried to impress him. I guess that's a good sign that being myself is a win-win. But also, a part of me feel inadequate being with him... he's too good for me. We've had two dates thus far. He says I'm a great kisser. He's seen my place. Friday night, I get to see his... as well as try his cooking.
The problem is I feel no sparks inside me. I feel like I'm leading him on like BIG time. I think we're better off as friends. I've chatted with Watercolourboy earlier this week. He agrees with my approach not to dismiss the KING so easily. I need to give him a proper chance - to examine more of him, and maybe my admiration will turn into fondness. We'll see.
I might very well be a player, BUT not yet a slut.
How does my fantasy of you compare to what transpired?
You invited me to your presence -
in the same self-preservative manner I left you 18 months ago.
And here I am comforted -
knowing you are exactly as I remember you to be.
The reality of you had not dissipated nor disappointed.
In our moment of kisses, of touch, of song -
I thought desperately of never tomorrow.
I wake up snuggled next to you underneath the sheets -
sensing the stimulating heat from your body.
Your forgotten manly scent is unsually familiar.
I've dreamt many times:
My content in having to feel your breath once more -
even for a temporary while.
Tonight, I've surpassed these dreams beyond my expectations.
Why am I not satisfied?
I watched you sleep (or pretend to sleep).
Examining the preciseness of your chin, the firmness of your chest -
thinking that perhaps if I get sick of looking at you,
I won't miss you the next day, and the day after.
And the day after that.
But I never can memorize your face.
I've tried -
it's like I always see you for the first time.
I guess I'm not emotionally prepared as I thought I would be.
But signs point to me being stronger; and, I feel fine.
Thank you for letting me indulge.
I feel sudden vulnerability - it feels rousing to be human.
Temporary invincibility worth trading,
my misery is energizing.
I am the happiest mortal in the world.
. Personally, I don't think he's handsome. Prior to Saturday night, I really didn't understand all this hoopla about him. Yes, great body, great athlete. I'm sure he's a tiger in bed too. It wasn't until I saw him on an interview in-retrospect aiming for 8 gold medals that I realize he is full of charisma. He has a very nice presence on the television screen. I'm definitely keeping track of his Olympic progress.
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