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Thursday, August 05, 2004
The Player VS The Slut
I've met so many people this past weekend, it was almost as if I was in Montreal for gay pride. Since their names are generic, here's a short list of the ones I do remember: Don, Kevin, Eric, Ryan, Joel, Stu, M., etc...
God, I can't stress just how S-E-X-Y I feel lately. And you know what? Alcohol has nothing to do with it. I have to put the blame squarely on this MOJO that I've been speaking of.
"Yeah baby, Yeah!"
The little bit of superstitiousness in me is saying that I will not have this MOJO for much longer. How long will I have it for? Who knows? I predict until the end of summer. In the meantime, I am having a lot of fun meeting new people. BEST summer ever.
*****
Friday night was a weird night. I literally had to physically fight off advances from 3 guys, consecutively but all separate incidences. It was one after the other that I felt as if I stepped into reality TV territory. Just weird, I think these three guys were all drunk (in variating degrees).
At least, there were alot of other good people around. Ran into a guy I met at my old gym three years ago. Caught up on stories. He has a new boyfriend. Traded numbers. He wants to show me his "new place". I'm invited to dinner at his place this upcoming Saturday night.
*****
Last Saturday night at another club, I finally made a move on Shy Blonde Dude. I've had a huge crush on this guy for months and I know he thinks I'm cute. We chatted on and off. In between, a friend gives me a warning. The red flag was raised quite high. Uh-oh! It's good to have friends who gossip and know about everyone! LOL. He asked for my number three times. I get this funny feeling that he won't call... you know since's he's a player and all...
Which leads me to the question: how does one get labelled as a "player"?
At the clubs, I flocked from one guy to one guy to one guy. It's like I'm in a candy store and I get to choose any flavour I want. Ofcourse, I'm going with the best one. Does that make me a player?
And this leads me to another question: how does a "player" differ from being a "slut"?
I might've met many guys, but I did NOT have sex this weekend. I've come to the point where if I have superfluous sex, I know I'll feel very detached and would find it routinely unenjoyable. This is not a new revelation for me, I've written about this in my past archives. For now, I need to stay back. If I were to go to the direction of sex, it'll have to be with someone special. And at present, I'm content with my hand accompanied with my imagination.
*****
Sunday night, I reconnected with someone special as hinted on yesterday's post. It just happened. And no, we did NOT have sex either. Despite a fair bit of groping, we both showed great restraint. We kissed for a good six or seven hours before falling asleep. Oh man, those are the best, aren't they? The emotions were raw. I didn't feel like a robot. It wasn't just another guy. I have a history with him. We have this emotional and physical connection that I just can't explain. It's like no other. We got out of bed around 1pm.
Having said that, we left it at: "I'll talk to you soon." He's busy. I'm busy. But I'm equipped not to get hurt the same way I did over a year and a half ago. I have a feeling I'll hear from him sometime this weekend. I shouldn't look forward to it, but I am.
*****
Speaking of this upcoming weekend, man do I feel popular! Everyone wants to invite me to dinner. I have dinner invitations for every night starting tonight with two good friends.
My friday is reserved for this new guy I've been dating. Yes, I'm dating someone new: *the KING*. He has a cute smile, smart, talented, successful, down-to-earth, thoughtful & kind. He's a true gentleman, coming from a very impressive background.
He seems too good to be true. He has all the qualities I'm looking for in a man. His actions show that he's absolutely crazy about me. I have to admit that I'm not sure what he sees in me since I haven't tried to impress him. I guess that's a good sign that being myself is a win-win. But also, a part of me feel inadequate being with him... he's too good for me. We've had two dates thus far. He says I'm a great kisser. He's seen my place. Friday night, I get to see his... as well as try his cooking.
The problem is I feel no sparks inside me. I feel like I'm leading him on like BIG time. I think we're better off as friends. I've chatted with Watercolourboy earlier this week. He agrees with my approach not to dismiss the KING so easily. I need to give him a proper chance - to examine more of him, and maybe my admiration will turn into fondness. We'll see.
I might very well be a player, BUT not yet a slut.
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