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Thursday, August 12, 2004
Different Flavours in the Candy Store
I feel like a fuckin' player!
I'm in a candy store and I want to try every flavour to assess the best one. I know there's a particular sweet taste that will satisfy me. He's out there, and I'm longing for him. But in the meantime, I've tried all this candy and they're only ending up half unconsumed in the garbage.
*****
Tuesday night, I had another date with the King which turned out great. I found myself liking him even more. We dined at a very nice Thai restaurant. Afterwards, we retreated back to his place.
My intention was to let my feelings out in the open, and if need be, cut ties severing contact. If friendship is possible, then the better. I was thinking of chickening out. But when it finally came down to an unending makeout session which I wasn't entirely comfortable with, I had to give the 'honest' route a try.
So I did. Immediately, he couldn't understand my logic of wanting to take it slow. I tell him I need time to sort out my feelings. "Is this a 2 or 3 months down the line type of slow?" He asks as he didn't seem happy.
To appease him, I reiterate that I do like him alot and that I think he's a special guy. Since I was on that thread, I started listing the many things I liked about him. It pleased him so much I kept going with quite a long list, some superficial, some intangible. It could only have been music to his ears.
Reclining, he says he wanted to feel my skin. Innocently, he takes off my dress shirt. Shortly after, he starts tickling me. I giggle. There was groping, which turned into unzipping and The King is down giving me head. I knew this was coming a mile away. And honestly, I wanted him to... I was both curious and horny.
I give a little pathetic protest that it's not what I want. "I'm just teasing you... just let me tease," he says. In my virgin Mary voice, I tried to be firm: "I really want to take things slow." The King stops, but eventually goes back down on me again. "If you don't like it, just stop me, okay?" What a rhetorical question, huh?
How could I not like it? So, for a bit, I did let him... you know... and then shortly pulled him up. He ceased. We had a lengthy talk. Somehow, unexplainable, we both ended our night in pleasant bliss. I walked home still horny, but with a smile nonetheless.
*****
A day has passed and I have had a chance to reassess my feelings for The King. I am 95% sure that I don't want to go any further. I would just be leading him on. There's no fireworks inside me. He's such a wonderful guy, and everything about him is top notch. Who knows? Maybe I won't get another guy of his caliber again. But it just wasn't working for me. I don't understand why, and I'm going to stop analyzing.
What's so funny about this whole thing is I can't even visualize myself having consolation sex with him. I hope we can be friends.
*****
There's this super friendly loud and proud flamer who's been chatting me up everytime we cross paths at my gym. He asked if I wanted to "hang out" with him sometime. I wasn't sure if he was asking me out on a date, but then he was suddenly concerned whether or not I had a boyfriend.
He seems like a genuine guy. Totally not my type, but I reply "sure". I mean why not? He could be that sweet caramel taffy that melts perfectly in my tongue, not my hands.
*****
My next-door neighbour has a crush on me. I'm not referring to the Sexy Latino who used to live South of my door, I'm talking about this other neighbour north of me who's a fair bit older. When he's nearby, I get this child-molester vibe. Hence, I stay away.
I ran into him waiting for the elevator and he mentioned that he's seen me around the village. I did the unpolite thing people do to avoid conversation: leave no room for eye contact by pretending to be fascinated by my watch and then stare at the light-lit floor map up above the elevator door.
If he was a candy in the candy store, he'd be... well, I don't want to write anything of poor taste. Then again, the only purpose of mentioning my neighbour is to give myself an ego boost.
*****
On an up note, Christopher Columbus or (C.C. for short) is coming into town solely to spend the entire Labour Day weekend with me. C.C. who? Click here.
I'm very much looking forward to reconnecting with him again. We had great sexual and emotional chemistry. I think he wants to recreate our pride adventures. Right off the bat, I can tell that I won't feel like a robot in his presence, that nothing is going to feel forced.
At the candy store, C.C. would be a wild cherry lollilop. I wish he can satisfy my insatiable desire of realness, but his taste will wear off as soon as he leaves town.
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