Sunday, August 22, 2004
Taking The Honest Route
Who knew that being honest and direct with people actually works? Well, providing you handle your words with great tact that is...
*****
Last weekend, I finally told the King it wasn't working out between us. I wanted to be honourable so I told him it's best we talk in-person. I haven't called him in two days and he's not stupid, so he quickly figured out why.
He seemed bothered over the phone that I wasn't able to express that there is nothing lacking in him. I proposed friendship. Suffice to say, he wasn't taking it very well. "I guess I'll talk to you later. Bye." End of conversation.
Two minutes later, the phone rings. Guess who?
"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm just not having a good day."
I was relieved. Apology accepted.
Shortly after, the King invites me to his place to watch two movies he rented. "Ummm..." I was quite hesitant. My watch says 10:30pm. I'm tired. I want a quiet introverted Friday night indulging in mango sorbet, television and eventually a 10 hour beauty sleep. But I got dressed out of my pajamas, took a cab, and was at his place in record-breaking fifteen minutes.
I wanted to show that I'm serious about wanting to be friends. I fell asleep halfway through Underworld, but that's besides the point. We've sinced talked on the phone several times. Chatted on MSN, and we have plans to hang out as "friends". Cool!
Honesty Score Tally: 1
*****
I'm looking forward to seeing CC again during the Labour Day weekend. We've been chatting on the phone and exchanging emails frequently. But what was to be an exclusive romantic weekend between us was quickly turning into a tourist pajama party between him and his friends.
At first, I understood CC's need to have company during his long drive up north. I even encouraged him. But when the carpool becomes a crowd - the entire group planning excursion trips to see Hairspray and the Island and having me tag along... well... I became apprehensive. At one point, he admits he doesn't want to abandon his friends altogether. That's fine, but it's clear that his focus wasn't on me anymore.
I don't want to damper CC's mood. But if I was going to invest my entire weekend with him, I don't want to feel second priority because I'm not going to be fair to myself. In turn, I sent CC an email reiterating my internal thoughts: "...I have to express my trepidation in having your friends along for the ride. Assurance of privacy or not, it still changes the scheme of things..."
I concluded my email by saying that I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for his visit alongside with his friends: "The bottom line is I want you to be happy. And, I want you to have the time of your life."
We had a lengthy chat that evening. As it turns out, the big crowd cancelled and he's down to one other friend for accompaniment. I've prepared myself for the worst, so the news doesn't change much. But in conversation, he says: "My only reason for coming up there is to see you. I've missed you so much." Aw, isn't that sweet?
Who's his Daddy? I'm his Daddy!
Honesty Score Tally: 2
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