|
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
So I Got Turned Down for Sex...
Remember Makeup Muscle? I filed him under "The Unresolved" back in November. He phones me out of the blue, just as I had predicted.
I told myself if given the chance again, I would have sex with him without a second thought. I didn't waste any time calling Makeup Muscle back. Truth be told, he was the only guy who I dated where we're able to sleep naked side by side without having sex. We did this two years ago consistently over the course of a month. Our last sleep side by side episode was this past August (click here and here).
In the past, there were real feelings invested on my end. Later, I realized it was never mutual. I eventually made it my closure that I can't make him love me. It wasn't until I met someone like Rockboy that I was able to compare and realize the shallowness of my attachment to Makeup Muscle.
Seeing Makeup Muscle fall back on my lap again, I had nothing to lose anymore. I was the one who spurned his sexual advances in the past, wanting to wait before we had sex because I wanted it to be "special". It's ironic that I was now on a mission to get him into bed.
Friday night, strangely, I find myself back at his place after watching a movie together. We ended up talking for hours. Because of the years of built-up sexual tension between us, I propositioned sex. I explained that he was my biggest fantasy since I first met him 7 years ago.
Sadly, Makeup Muscle turned me down.
He had various reasons. The main one is that he's not in the "right mental state" to have sex. He's been on a down mode due to unemployment.
While that was a good excuse, I confess deep down I felt it was his way of getting back at me for not wanting to have sex in the past. I thought it was a bit childish. He even tells me that I had my chance before, especially that first night that we met. He thought I was hot but I kept on ignoring him. Argh. I was playing games then; he's playing games now.
Seeing that this is his stance, I really had to fight the urge to rape the guy. I was content with the kissing. I got home around 4 in the morning, but not before he tells me that sex is definitely in our immediate future.
Good.
*****
I got a hold of this yesterday. I don't really need it, but I thought it'd be fun to give it a try. Hence, I lied to my doctor about my job giving me stress, affecting me on a sexual platform.
I hope to give it an honest try, either by myself or with a real partner. He he.
|
|
bravenet.com