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Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Meet HorseHung
Despite recently writing about sex here, here and here, I confess I don't have much of it. Honest!
I'm comfortable. Just because I can get laid whenever I want, doesn't mean I'll whore around. I can wait for sex to be special. I can be patient.
Having said that... there is a new handsome man who appeared in my life: *HorseHung* (the alias amuses me, so for now I'll use it to refer to him.) Not to get ahead of myself, but I suppose we're officially dating as of Monday evening. Just dating, nothing more, or less.
Actually, I've ran into HorseHung a few times before at clubs/bars. I know of his interest in me but I always brush him away. I was very attracted but I automatically dismissed entertaining the possibility of getting to know him further and vice-versa. While I'm approachable and friendly with just about anybody, my friendliness has boundaries. You can get close, but not too close.
"Perhaps, you've become a little too guarded." says my good friend Fartboy. Good friends are not afraid to call a spade a spade, to pinpoint the truth on their observation. When he noticed a discouraged HorseHung staring at me from afar after I obliviously dissed him for the umpteenth time, he had to intervene. Fartboy approached HorseHung: "I know you like him. He's a really special guy. If you want to get to know him, you just have to keep on trying."
*Thanks Fartboy.*
Everytime I see HorseHung, there is a voice in my head whispering that I could merely be a sex conquest story that he could relay to his friends. I have to learn to ignore this voice. And this weekend, I did just that.
HorseHung slept over on Saturday night. He kept begging for sex. His persistence was so cute and silly, I almost said yes. I insisted on snuggling though. I really want to take it slow, do it right. I don't want to give him my body with the thinking that he could be someone that he really isn't. I want him to be deserving. I want him to see beyond my bright brown eyes; and I want to see what's underneath his dazzling smile.
We shared a nice dinner on Monday evening. It was really nice. Smooth. The kisses were nice.
We'll just see how long this episode with HorseHung lasts. Dating him might not actually lead anywhere, who knows? But I think I'm on the right track in terms of finding the balance between security of keeping the bad seeds out, and the openess of letting in that special 'Diamond in the rough'.
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