|
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Rule#42: Never Associate with Cheating Boyfriends
After two years of friendship, I found out that my fuckbuddy Remingtonman wasn't being completely truthful with me.
[As a quick overview, his boyfriend does not know about our "meetings". Yeah yeah. Bottom line, his business is not mine. Now, let's move on.]
Through accidental circumstances too irksome to write here, I found out the name I knew him by wasn't his real name. At first, I thought it was funny. I figured he initally hid behind this alias to protect his identity when we met. When he realized that I was not about to put his relationship in jeopardy, months had passed and he felt guilty to be confessing too late. Probably.
So, I confronted him regarding this new information.
Remingtonman didn't deny other than to tell me that there is a long boring story behind the false name. No big deal. We can erase this slate clean. But I had to officially ask him for his last name, even with full knowledge of what it was already. I wanted to know the person I am fucking. Putting "appointment with Dr. Blythe" on my on-line work calendar (my boss has access) is not going to work for me anymore.
Long pause. He didn't want to tell me. I got pissed.
Suddenly, everything I knew of him was up in the air. I had to question our friendship. I had enormous trust in Remingtonman. Infact, I will say on record that he became my closest confidante as I was able to express my innermost feelings about everything. He encouraged it.
Our "personal diary relationship" developed when my romance with R and J came to a halt. I needed a friend. He was there to listen. I poured my heart out countless of times. After all these years, he can't trust me? I don't think I'm the one with issues here. I can only speculate that hearing about my adventures entertained him.
As I sit here at my desk, I realize our friendship was always compromised. I never did get a chance to hang out with Remingtonman to do fun things as friends, not even meet up for a drink or coffee. He was the master of excuses. I realized that everything with him was always going to be behind closed doors. I was uncomfortable this way, but I respected his wishes.
Going forward, I can not continue my sexual relations with him. No. Not anymore. Hypocritical me has suddenly developed a conscience overnight. I don't know if he was genuine, but I would miss the friendship. I don't want to break it. But having the trust broken, it's difficult at this point to overlook this name game incident. Mark my words though, I'm never going to play around with men with boyfriends.... (unless it's coming from an open relationship). He he he.
Having said all this, I don't have any right to be upset. Remingtonman was a scheming cheater who constantly lied to his boyfriend. There wasn't any reason why he would not do the same with me.
I confess I am deeply hurt. But I had it coming.
|
|
bravenet.com