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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Coming Out
"Grace, I'm gay." I said shyly. I was scared.
We were having such exuberant fun that night. But I wasn't being myself completely. I was still holding back. And so, impulsively, while my friend Grace was driving me home one early weekend morning, I disclosed the hidden me.
There was silence.
"What did you say?" Grace is asking me to repeat. I didn't want to.
"I'm... gay." I was almost whispering as if I was fading away of embarrassment.
"No!" Her voice reverberated of sudden frustration. "No! Say it again. I want you to say it proud!"
There was convinction, and it was magnetic, the most unexpected response. It was difficult enough for me to acknowledge I was gay. But to be proud? The concept was so foreign. I also didn't know how to react. I wanted to cry. Trying not be overly sentimental, my eyes remained dry.
*****
This happened over 8 years ago. One of the most positive experiences one can ever have. What an impact this has made to my life, in creating who I am, and who I will be.
Looking back, Grace, more wise than most would account her for, wished for me to be happy with who I was regardless of what others thought. Being gay was merely surface-talk. It doesn't matter if you're gay or not, the main message was: love yourself, be proud.
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