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Thursday, December 23, 2004
Sex, Fears & New Year's
For the past two days, there is fear looming in my head.
It is the fear that I might be solo on New Year's Eve. So far, no plans. I have family. I have friends. But it's just not the same, ya know? I want someone to kiss underneath the mistletoe. [By the way, I found one at a flowershop two blocks from my apartment!] I want someone to snuggle with on a cold wintery night under the warm cozy sheets. I don't really care about mindblowing sex, but that's a bonus.
God, I sound like a woman. What's wrong with me?
I had sex last night. I seem to be exercising my bottom card lately. That's okay. He was a good top. It was either go to the gym or get laid. Hence, I opted for option deux, and he became my cardio for the day. Ahem.
It was good; but no matter how good the sex, it will always be second to carressing that special someone. I don't want to have to sleep with someone who already has a boyfriend. But I'm human, and my sexual drive is rampant high. Sigh. I can only hope that the sex I'm having would eventually exist integrated in a committed relationship.
I have feelings of loneliness and longing inside. I've simply been ignoring it. I've been keeping busy. I'm not sad, I'm just... empty.
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