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Thursday, December 30, 2004
A Dream About Rockboy
I had a dream about Rockboy last night.
It was a few seconds past the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. I called to greet him. He was very pleased to hear from me. I wished him love and happiness in 2005, and he reciprocated my greeting with sincerity, and dare I say, with love.
Then, I said I missed him.
His response was that it was I who stopped phoning, ending the communication line. I obviously do not agree, but I wasn't going to argue. I'm beyond this blame game. And then, in mid-conversation, I wake up.
I awoke to the thought that I wasn't exactly the innocent victim. I had my part to blame. I gave up on us too soon. My heart sank at this realization.
As we speak, Rockboy is across the ocean, visiting family for the holidays, 5 time-zones ahead. If anything, I believe my dream last night has instructed me to call him at 7pm Eastern Standard Time for a 'happy new year' greeting. I think I might just do that.
*****
A more immediate concern, how can a hunk like me be dateless on New Year's?
I can't begin to tell you the number of men who asked what I will be doing for the big night. Men are curious, but can't seem to cross that line where they ask me out. Fear of rejection? Out of fear that I have other men in mind? But then, I've been aloof to show in-person interest to anyone.
Last night, right before I went out with 5 Barbie dolls (any straight man would be jealous) to celebrate a good friend's recent engagement, I decided to make the jump. I admit I've been waiting on a guy (who will remain nameless for now) to ask me out. He's asked me several times what I will be doing for New Year's without actually taking it to the next step. So, I took matters into my hands. Life is short. I called. Left a message.
I haven't heard from him, so it looks like I'm solo.
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