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Friday, November 05, 2004
A Mid-week Romance
Like I wrote on my November 1st posting, I fulfilled the promise of romance by Wednesday. The guy, who I had hoped would call, did call.
Was there ever a doubt?
Oh yeah. Insecurities flooded my head. Lotsa doubts. Doubts galore. Never ending doubts. But then, I'm unbearably cute ofcourse he'd call. (Excuse my lack of modesty, it's really just pretense. I'm too hard on myself that I need this conceitful release.)
We went to a movie, and prior to that, we shared an extremely awkward table conversation over tea/coffee. I wasn't particularly sure if it was a "date" or just "hanging out". Our conversation was dead-on-arrival. He was boring me, and I think I was boring him too. That lasted a good half hour. It wasn't the type of scene pictured on romance novels regardless that we've shared a past together and that I had a very strong emotional attachment to him.
As a side note: There's nothing like a feel-good movie to bring two people together. I highly recommend Ray: one of the best films of the year! A great date movie.
So yes, it was indeed a date. I knew this when he grabbed my arm a few times and squeezed my right knee on occasion. Ah, physical contact. What a wonderful way to show one's attraction to a potential. I read it loud and clear and surely the reason a big smile found itself on my face. At that point, it was safe to assume that he likes me nevermind our dull discussions earlier.
Ho-hum. Fast-forward to the end of the evening at my apartment. He leans in for a kiss goodbye at 90%. I didn't hesitate to give him the other 10%. That was when our lips locked. I was waiting for his move all night.
Common sense tells me to let him go, but he felt so good in my arms. Intuition tells me he's merely entertained by me. Nothing more. So, I shouldn't expect much from a person who isn't aware of what he wants.
At the end of the day, it's somewhat painful, looking back at our past and what we could be. It really sucks knowing I like him more than he likes me. The funniest thing of all is that he'll call me again.
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