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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Playing with Men, Playing with FirePart Two
(If you haven't already, check out WatercolourBoy's recap of our friday night outing. *** Babe, you had me laughing at my knees when I read of The Bore. ***)
Man#4: Another American in Toronto
So I spent the majority of my weekend with N.Y. Guy. When I first laid my eyes on him and his hot body, I had no choice but to say hello. My 'hello' was very well received. I was out to have some fun, so was he. And it just clicked, we clicked. Obviously at the end of the night, he received an invite to my place for another form of... dancing.
I guess I made quite an impression on him as he confesses that he senses sincerity and goodness in me. He then dropped an unexpected bomb: "I don't want to have sex. I want to make love to you." He went on to say that for him to make love to me, he needs to get to know me better. And that involves waiting. Naturally, I was skeptical. He's from out of town, and as I mentioned earlier, long distance relationships are a no-no for me.
Somehow, he was starting to convince me. I don't know how, but already he's making plans on visiting me every weekend, and I'm invited south. I played along. I played along a little too well. I started letting go of my boundaries and really put myself on the line. For those fleeting times, it was wonderful. I could feel the end of my toes as if they were as close to my eyes as my nose, and my ears became extra sensitive when we kiss. Hell, my body became super sensitive to touch. And everytime I breathe air into my lungs, I would feel a tickle inside. It was intoxicating snuggling with him in my bed for two nights.
I invited him to skate the CNE grounds with me on Saturday afternoon. We in-line skated for over 3 hours. We had so much to talk about, so much to share with each other. I wanted to show him a bit of Toronto that would involve doing something physical. At the two hour mark, he couldn't keep up with me so I kept on stopping to look back. Sigh. If this was any indication, I think I might just end up giving NY Guy a heart attack in bed, if we ever do get to that point. I have to be honest here that seeing this super fit guy lose breath gave quite an ego boost to the competitor in me.
Anyways, this doesn't end in a good way. To make a complicated story short, NY Guy had issues with his EX. Due to an undeserved guilt, NY Guy abandoned me at 7am on Sunday morning to be elsewhere. This made me quite upset. "I'll call later." He says this right before he left my apartment. I figured later meant around noon as we talked about having Sunday brunch. NY Guy finally calls at 8:30 on Sunday night.
Needless to say, I was pissed. I told him: "it was wonderful getting to know you." That was that - I hung up. He really needed to get himself a spine when dealing with his Ex. Meanwhile, I waited all afternoon. I became worried. I got worked up in this when I shouldn't have. He made me believe in something. And, I got really hurt.
If he disappoints me now, he'll only disappoint me beyond belief in the future. So...on the upside, I'm glad I don't get to invest any more of my time with NY Guy. Though, there is something in me that says: "Damn, I didn't get to work his ass good."
*****
My heart is broken. But I'm a big boy. And now I get to write about it. Three cheers to bachelorhood. The fireworks is mesmerizing from my angle.
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