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Monday, July 19, 2004
Playing with Men, Playing with FirePart One
I'm enjoying my bachelorhood. I'm juggling men. Fun fun fun.
However, there are consequences. It's like playing with fire, and I'm playing with people's emotions. At some point, someone's feelings will get hurt. Even mine.
This weekend, that's exactly what happened. I got burnt.
*****
Man#1: An American far from Toronto
I received another email from C.C. (as in Christopher Columbus), the beautiful American boy I met during Pride. He wants to pursue some sort of relationship. We're both cognizant of the difficulties attached with long distance romance. I told him this is something I'm not prepared for.
But, CC wants to give 'us' a try. He wrote: "...bottom line, I refuse not to take risks and the weekend I spent with you truly was one of, if not, the best of my life."
Reading this, I am conflicted. I am unbearably touched and absolutely elated that I made someone of his caliber very happy. I feel so loved. But guilt creeps in because I can not reciprocate his feelings in the same magnitude. I had a very special connection with CC. He blew me away (literally and metaphorically speaking). But I have reservations, details I won't expand on to bog down my readers.
C.C. wants to visit me, either end of the month, if not August. Which would be great, I want to see him again. But it feels too soon. And having that kind of reaction in itself is a BAD sign.
I should be straight-forward and tell him how I feel, but it's virtually impossible to do this without hurting his feelings. I guess that's why I haven't called or replied to any of his emails in the last week. I'm delaying the inevitable.
*****
Man#2: The Neighbour Who Just Can't Get Enough
I mentioned at an earlier post that my former neighbour, the Sexy Latino, came on to me leading to an unexpected make out session at my apartment last Thursday morning.
I get another call from him that same evening. "All day, I've been thinking about our kiss." he says. I don't blame him. That kiss was pretty damn hot. Again, he's asking me out on a date. If this was all for sex, then I'm for it. But he has alot of drama attached to him regarding his ex-boyfriend.
I can NOT get involved. So, I turn him down.
When he made his move to kiss me that morning, I ran with it because it was fun and exciting at the time. I was impressed that he was really going after me. That was gutsy and brave. I felt that I needed to reward him. Ahem!
And honestly folks, I was turned on. I know I blew him away with my reaction and the fact that I took charge. And now he can't resist.
He called again on Saturday. Call Display is my best friend. I didn't pick up.
*****
Man#3: The Shy Blonde
I guess Blonde Cutie liked me more than I realized. We had a date last Sunday. He finally confessed to me that he is shy.
Gasp. "Mary, you are soooo not shy."
"Oh gurlfrieeennnd, I am!"
Since we both love Brazillian Bossanova, he bought tickets to a Bebel Gilberto concert in August. Still a month away, Blonde Cutie says he's hoping to take me. I said yes without thinking.
I'd like to hang out with him, but I don't know about another "date".
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